Thanksgiving

My thanksgiving weekend.. my mind almost disappeared and got lost. I was stressed about many things. Although, I had a long weekend to spend time with homework and catching up in certain classes.. I cared less. Instead of being here in Kasigluk, I went down to Atmautluak and visited my relatives and friends. It wasn't so bad.. I made like two complicating bracelets for my aunty. It took one day to get one done.. not that I was working on it non-stopping. I was seriously having fun beading.. the whole time beading was my time to think and everything seems to make more sense when I was done. For some reason through out my patience and thinking about my life.. I felt like I was making out my life and mistakes I made were corrected as I went with my beading.. Beading was me who was mending my life as I went and whenever I made a mistake was to correct it and go back. At some point I never noticed I made a mistake that wasn't been learned or noticed of my beads. I'm so weird. What I've been doing was just thinking about life and I really enjoyed spending my time with my relatives. Ate many different kinds of thanksgiving foods. It was awesome! I took pictures while I was in Atmautluak. I was amm.. nothing much to do. 

My Community

Growing up in Kasigluk all my life, I never really saw how our community feels about each other. Until two weeks ago I found out the first time how my community does care and support for each other after a terrible incident with the Anvils' house that was accidently got burned. Everything was lost within the house. It was horrible sight and made me cry since my friend's house was fallen into ashes. 

Few days after the burning, our youth group announced they were going to have a cake walk here in Akiuk school. I wasn't planning on going and support. I decided I had to go for my friend's sake. I thought the cake walk was going to be a brief, but I was wrong. I didn't except so many people that would support and donate many cakes and items. Since the other times of the cake walk events that happened in the past were short and hardly any people came. That day was different. 

I never saw so many people coming to a cake walk. 

All that time I was surprised how my community really cares and willing to help. I was thanking God the whole time. Each round I was elated. There was about 100 people there to give their money because of the Anvil's. 

At the end of the cake walk... they counted the money. Fannie insisted that the Anvil family should go in front of everyone before the announcement of how much they made for them. They were hesitant. They couldn't because they couldn't express their feelings and it's hard for me to pick a right word to explain how my community and the Family felt. It was emotional and hard to describe. At that moment, we were a community helping each others out as one. 

It turned out Paul Slim donated punks and raffled them out and turned out it made couple hundred dollars just that time. Counting the cake walk was at least probably one thousand. It was amazing. 

That wasn't only it. Moravian youth group had raised money to go to Tunt for AMYF for couple of months. They had raised two thousand dollars to pay off their air fair. The group had decided to do something else than go to Tunt last week. All had decided to give up the trip and give the money to the family who really needed it. I was touched and nothing else could be said. Fannie let everyone who was involved go in front and one by one they gave the two thousand dollars to the Anvil's family. The Anvil parents were crying.. and everyone else was crying. Thinking about it.. it's still emotional in a wonderful way. 

Today... I'm proud to say I'm from Kasigluk and my community is my home. 

Halloween!!!!

I had an awesome Halloween this year.. one of the best too!! Friday after lunch.. most of the highschool girls were in the bathroom putting on make up to go trick-o-treating over at Akula. I had fake blood on my face.. blood streaming down my eyes, lips, and nose. It was just nasty. I also put on mascara and blinked as hard as I can. It seems like my face was smeared and like I've been crying. Thats all I did and went with Baby, Crazy, and Pink with a four-wheeler. HOLY crap, I was soo cold going over. So we all waited at the store (weird place to meet) for the other girls to start going house to house. I felt like I was back in middle school where we didn't care who was thinking we were too old to go out candy seeking. I had soo much fun!!!! When we started trick-o-treating we were all in a big group. Towards the middle of treating.. we were all spread. One funny thing was Pink and me went into those house and started running. We were so busy trying to hurry up to catch up with the other girls. We ran into this house and Pink recognized the rug we already have gone into.. I, on the other hand, recognized the same man. We both turned around and were so embarrassed. Takarnarqeq.. EMBARRASSING! 

The next day on Nov. 1, all the high school students got the hunted hall way ready before seven in the evening. Well.. Finally everything was ready from all the work and we had to dress up. Our library was the exorcist room. I was made to use a little pink gown that sort of fit me like the exorcist. Bev put me on sickening green all over my face and black lines to show my wounds. It was awesome. Through out the haunted hall way.. I had soo much fun ... I wasn't really scary.. but enough to freak people out. I enjoyed my night. 

The picture was after we were done with the haunted hall.

I take Bribes!

Mr. W. knows I take bribes as my goals to get things done faster. Most people know I hate writing. I hate writing so much! I always complain why we have to write or huff off and avoid writing. I'm pretty good at letting Mr. W. talk and talk about any subject... because he does it himself. That way, he doesn't have to say the ugly words, "Write your paper." Or, "Work on your paper." 

When I was younger, I loved writing so much I wanted to become a writer. As I grew up, it was like a barrier started building without me knowing. I think one day I woke up and became aware I was struggling with writing. It's not like I'm bad at writing... it's just that writing my ideas on paper or typing my ideas is so hard. I always ask these dumb questions: How can I start my paper? Am I writing like back when I was in middle school? Is this sentence even makes sense? 

I'm also afraid to get help from teachers or an adult with my writing. I think I just want to be the best in writing.. I mean not being best of others.. but myself. 

But anyway... one time I broke down (literally) during Mr.'s writing class. I COULD NOT write or even think of what to write about. I was so worried about something I just didn't know. Then, Mr. did something I didn't realize. He bribed me. I don't exactly remember, but I only remember where I was writing and writing and writing until I got done with three papers for him. It only took few hours to get them done. 

After I turned them in.. He told me that I was a good writer.. I felt a little bit of confidence of my writing. But anyway... I take bribes easily.. unless it's about writing= )

Brother!

Watch this!

Important Someone

I have so many important something to everything in my life. My family is important, my friends, school, issues, and etc. One person who is very important to me is my dad. My dad is everything to me. I love him and I care for him. In some way he understands me quietly without saying anything. I could relate and understand him as well. I don't know why, but he and I are like brother and sister.. but his my father at the same time. It's silly to say that I hardly talk to him.. but I feel like I'm more accepted by him and I am with him. I love him so much. He cares for his family, friends, and his work. My younger sisters often say that I get more attention from my dad than my four other sisters... well until my little brother came long two years ago. I've went with him to Kuskokwim for king salmon couple years ago. He and I were the only ones in the boat. I helped him.. by driving. Just sitting there with him felt good. I felt great actually. I enjoyed it even he and I were just waiting quietly for the fish to come across our net. Having a dad like him, I wouldn't ask for another one to replace him. I love you dad! 

My mind is blank

I'm so hyper right now. I can't think of what to write about but say what I'm thinking probably. Or my fingers are doing the talking and not realizing it. I feel really sick right now. Well, I'm trying to make my day more livable. I can't stand being so bored right now. I don't want to have a crappy day. So, I'm making myself laugh.. I'm laughing at myself and with myself. Shucks. I'm being silly and enjoying my Tuesday evening. I know, at the end of this day... I'm going to be so grumpy and tired. 

Oh yeah.. my glasses makes me look like a total dork. I do not match my glasses.. yarr. I found out one of my contacts was torn. I hate wearing them and they are my biggest problem today! Ugh! I was wondering all this time why my left eye was irritating me. I don't like this. 

Anyway, I'm like writing about anything thats popping up my sickening brain. 

Last night, I had a fever and my body felt like it was in a boat in a storm. It sucked soo hard! I'm laughing today, and I feel sick and tired and sick. Darn. I hope I feel better before this weekend. 

Okay, okay. I'm hyper and can't stand but laugh for some reason. I'm smiling at the screen right now and thinking of all the funny things that happened. Like when I was a kid, I always used to sleep walk & talk. The only reason I did sleep walk was because I needed to use the restroom during the night. Ha, ha, ha! I was around 6-8 years old when that occurred often. It was like a desire or something. Silly to say, but true. One time, I was told by my sister, I was running without knowing. I ran back and forth at our old, little house. My sister was watching me. All of a sudden, I stood up on top of a chair that was just by her bed. She started laughing and told me to use the bathroom. I just starred at her blankly. Gosh, this thought is making me laugh so hard right now! Embarrassing thought! I was aware after when my mom led me to the bathroom and peed. How funny is that?

Anyway... I hope this blog is good enough!

Little Puppy

Thinking about what to write. I don't think anything really happened over how many weeks since I haven't written in this blogger thing. Well, someone or something was welcomed to my family not long ago. A little puppy, and his name is Nemo:). My teacher, Deanna Jamison, became a mother couple of weeks ago. Her dog, Lola had four pups. All cute, and sprinkled everywhere in her house. At first, when Deanna asked me if I wanted a pup, I sort of thought... a pup in my house? More so, I have a little one year old brother who is crazy and wild. I thought, a little brother and a pup in one house? Chaos! But I thought, my little brother would like a friend at home when two of my younger sister and I were in school. I gave in and asked my daddy about getting a puppy. He sort of didn't consider it.. but he did after couple of days. Now that our pup is at home growing very slowly. You know, I thought my little brother would like a pet at home... boy, I was wrong. The day when my sister brought Nemo home (I told you my brother needed a friend) my brother looked at Nemo and cried. He was scared of him. I thought, oh boy. Family was happy the fact that we have a little pup and my brother was getting used to it. Well, he pushes it around. You know how the biggest worts (brother) are like. Always rough and tough. Anyway, my little pup is soo cute and small. I'm just waiting how big he will be. Having a puppy is a lot of fun and have something to play with. I love our little Nemo!!!

Advicing

Getting advice or wisdom is a pretty big thing in our village, especially when our elders talk to us. When my grandparents (my dad's parents) talk to me, I'm afraid. I'm always intimidated by my grandparents because they know God's word. They also went through a lot in life with mistakes and learned from them. I respect them a lot for that. 

One time my grandfather, Daniel Berlin Sr., was talking at my house about ways of life. He wasn't actually talking to me directly, but I learned something that really influenced me to be better than how I am today. He said that even if someone mistreats you so badly, treat them with the same level of respect as you do to others. Don't change towards them or get even with them later in the future. Therefore God will take care of the situation in His on way. Also mentioned that God is the only way towards life. 

I try my best to be a good person... as much as I want to... there is so much troubles and hatred as I go along with my life. I think thats the best thing that any person said to me to be the best person as you can be while you are on earth to show the world that you are worth awhile.

Christmas Break

My Christmas Break was pretty much the same as usual. Opening presents on Christmas day, hanging out with family, visiting relatives from Atmautluak,  watching the fire works during New Year's day, and reading an interesting book over the break. I forgot to mention going to Slaaviq. 

Of all these events over the break I remember the most is spending my time at Atmautluak for over a week. Every single night I stayed up late with my cousin Aaron just killing time talking about what we did while we were young punks and what we remembered the most. Most times it would be casual talks.... nothing personal. Aaron is pretty much good at making someone irritated by just reminding the embarrassing moments to a person. That is what he did to me a lot. One time we were just talking and her mom came in, he asked me if I liked one of his friends from another village. My aunty got curious about it and payed attention to our conversation. Of course my cousin knew I was seeing another guy. I was speechless and embarrassed. I didn't say anything about it after. Couples of days after, Aaron's friend called me (the one Aaron asked about if I liked him) and my aunty answered the phone. My aunty was like "Aan, it's your boyfriend calling". How embarrassing. I was not going out with that boy in the beginning. Aaron is pretty much good at confusing people by asking crazy questions. Although I had a blast spending time with him over the break. He made my Christmas break more interesting. 

Anyway, I'm glad to be back in school and trying my best to get good grades to be eligible to play basketball. Happy New Year everyone!!!!